Valentine's Day Expectations

What are your Valentine's Day expectations?
 

"Expectations are like fine pottery. The harder you hold them, the more likely they are to crack." ― Brandon Sanderson

 

Valentine's day is about celebrating the people you love, although we can all agree that this practice should be a daily occurrence. Regardless of the holiday, days regarded as "special" bring up the subject of expectations.  Even though it's been over 10 years, I'll never forget the Valentine's day of 2002.  I was living in Ithaca, NY attending Ithaca college and my boyfriend of three years (sorry Josh if you are reading this) had driven up to visit me for a special Valentine's Day.  I was super excited because I had bought him a very expensive art piece from a gallery in Manhattan.  I couldn't wait to give it to him and I couldn't help but wonder about the amazing gift he had gotten me.  As I gave him his gift I squealed in delight, so proud of myself for buying something adult and meaningful.  In return, he handed me a small blue box to which I could only have assumed was some fantastic piece of jewelry.  Unless you are in complete denial, a blue Tiffany's box will excite even the most stoic of women. I opened it to find a Tiffany's "heart" key chain.  A key chain.  A KEY CHAIN!?!?!?!  Did he think I was the type of girl that 1) uses a key chain and 2) would want a key chain from Tiffany's?  I was so utterly disappointed I could hardly feign gratitude.  If my memory serves me right, we wound up getting into a huge fight, I called him the worst boyfriend ever, threw his flowers away, and he drove the two hours back to his house.... all this drama on one little day. Although it was quite ugly at the time, I learned an important lesson about expectations.  The higher expectation you have of someone else, the more disappointment you open yourself up to feel.  It's a vicious set up when you think about it.  If I had expected nothing other than the company of my loved one, I would have been able to appreciate his token of love for what it was and returned it to get something else like any other logical Jewish American princess would have.

I read that more people break up on Valentine's Day than any other day of the year.  I can't help but think that this is due to our abnormally high expectation of our partner to display the measure of his/her love for us.  This year try having no expectation of your partner or yourself (if you are single, you don't necessarily need to feel lonely just because culture tells you that you should be).  The more present and conscious we are as people (and eaters), less and less will we need to use expectation in order to measure our success.  Practice self-love and self-care every single day as changing any unwanted behaviors can only begin with love.  I love you all!



Addendum: I contacted Josh to let him know I would be sharing a story of ours and he responded by saying the art I got him still hangs in his house to this day.  Josh is now married with two kids. Thanks for completing the story for everyone and for putting up with me for 4 years!  Sorry I threw away your flowers :) enjoy everyone, Happy Love Day!!!